The two kanji for love: 恋 (koi) and 愛 (ai)

Japanese has two kanji for love. 恋 (koi) is romantic love, the falling-for-someone, thinking-about-them-all-day kind, and 愛 (ai) is a wider, deeper love: for a partner of many years, a child, a pet or a home town. Both kanji have a heart, 心, inside them, and Japanese people like to joke about where each heart sits.

The joke about the hearts

In 恋, the heart is at the bottom. A 心 at the bottom of a kanji is called 下心 (shitagokoro), “lower heart”, and 下心 is also the everyday word for an ulterior motive. So romance, the joke goes, always has something hidden underneath.

In 愛, the heart is in the middle, 真ん中 (mannaka), and a heart in the 真ん中 makes a 真心 (magokoro), a sincere, true heart.

Put together, it’s a saying: 恋は下心、愛は真心 (koi wa shitagokoro, ai wa magokoro). Romance has a hidden motive; love has a true heart.

It’s wordplay, not history. Nobody designed the kanji with the joke in mind, but it’s a very good way to remember which is which.

Where they really come from

心 (kokoro, shin) began as a drawing of a heart. In Japanese, as in Chinese, it means both the heart and the mind.

恋 is a simpler form of an older kanji, 戀, and it’s the form Japan uses today. In 戀, the heart at the bottom gives the meaning, and the whole top half is a sound part.

愛 began as just a heart with a sound part above it. Later a foot, 夊, was added at the bottom, and dictionaries can’t say why. Over the centuries the sound part wore down into the 爫 and 冖 you see on top today. So the heart really is in the middle, but only because of what grew around it.

The two words have different histories too. Koi is an old Japanese word, from the verb 恋う (kou), to love or long for someone. Ai is the Chinese-style reading, which came to Japan with the kanji itself.

How to use them

• 恋をしています。

  Koi o shite imasu.

  I'm in love.

• 初恋はいつでしたか。

  Hatsukoi wa itsu deshita ka.

  When was your first love?

• 好きです。

  Suki desu.

  I like you. (the usual way to confess)

• 愛してる。

  Aishiteru.

  I love you. (big, and rarely said)

• うちの愛犬です。

  Uchi no aiken desu.

  This is our beloved dog.

• Most confessions use 好き (suki). 好きです, “I like you”, is what people say when they tell someone how they feel, and 大好き (daisuki) is stronger. 愛してる (aishiteru) is a heavy, serious line, heard more in songs and dramas than in everyday life.
• 恋 is the feeling, 愛 is the bond. 恋人 (koibito) is a boyfriend or girlfriend, and 恋愛 (ren’ai) is romance. 愛情 (aijou) is affection, like a parent’s for a child.
• Heartbreak and longing: 失恋 (shitsuren) is a broken heart, 片思い (kataomoi) is love that only goes one way, and 恋しい (koishii) means missed, longed for.
• In front of a noun, 愛 means “beloved”. 愛犬 (aiken) is a beloved dog, and 愛用 (aiyou) is something you always use, your favourite.

Words with the same kanji

Remember it

Find the heart. It’s hiding at the bottom of 恋, where a 下心 belongs, and sitting safely in the middle of 愛, where a 真心 belongs.

The kanji in this lesson

Tap Draw it to watch the stroke order. Numbers show where each stroke starts.

Draw it

Draw it

Draw it

Sources

• Dong Chinese: 戀 (old form of 恋)
• Dong Chinese: 愛
• Kotobank: 下心 (Japanese dictionaries)
• Kobe Shimbun NEXT: essay on 恋 and 愛 (Japanese)

Written by the Sumi team with the help of AI, then checked against JMdict and KANJIDIC2. How we write lessons. Spotted a mistake? Email brightsmilesolutionssupport@gmail.com.